They laughed at my hat
As we baked in the sunshine
My skin is intact!
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Ladies and....
Beau and I went to a barbecue on Saturday afternoon. It was a good time with good people and all kinds of yummy food I'm not supposed to eat on a regular basis (Doritos and 7-layer dip, I love you and I miss you already).
The little kids at the barbecue organized a little show. They made tickets and marched us into the living room for the performance.
I have to say, the best part came at the very start, when one of them announced the start of the show with:
LADIEEEEEES and GENITALS!!
The little kids at the barbecue organized a little show. They made tickets and marched us into the living room for the performance.
I have to say, the best part came at the very start, when one of them announced the start of the show with:
LADIEEEEEES and GENITALS!!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
A unit of measurement we could lose
I'm pretty sure I could live a full and happy life without ever hearing the term buttload again.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Art therapy
These days, things can turn stressful in a white-hot second.
And when I get that trapped, can't-breathe feeling, I need a minute to relax.
If I can laugh, it's that much better.
So I look at paintings on eBay.
There's some really beautiful art for sale/auction. But the nutty stuff is the best. Here are some of my favorites (and their prices--just in case you're interested).
And suddenly, I can breathe again.
And when I get that trapped, can't-breathe feeling, I need a minute to relax.
If I can laugh, it's that much better.
So I look at paintings on eBay.
There's some really beautiful art for sale/auction. But the nutty stuff is the best. Here are some of my favorites (and their prices--just in case you're interested).
 |
| $4 will get you this camo cat with donkey/dog and killer whale masterpiece. |
 |
| Cupcake AND Bacon. Only $5.50! |
 |
| Bigger money ($115) will get you this multimedia Mardi Gras extravaganza. |
 |
| Got $750? Then you've got yourself a Conan/Slave Girl Moonlit Embrace! |
And I've saved the VERY BEST EVER for last.
 |
| JUST $10 will make you holla with this surgically altered, hookerfied ET. Hey baby, you lookin' for a date? |
Monday, August 8, 2011
Whether or not we *like* to hear it...
Everybody in the editorial profession hears this A LOT:
Man, I'd kill myself if I had your job.
Thaaaaaanks.
Man, I'd kill myself if I had your job.
Thaaaaaanks.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Necessary?
I like to knit. I like to make things, period. Mostly, I knit blankets because it's so cold in my house during the winter months. It's good to have enough to go around when folks come over. I have the cuddliest house on the block!
When I go to the yarn section of a store, I'm always amused by the patterns they offer for free.
So far, this is my favorite.
Pedicure socks. For those times when it's too cold for flip-flops alone and you only want to lose your toes to frostbite.
Check out those nasty toes. Who wears their toenails that long? Yuck.
When I go to the yarn section of a store, I'm always amused by the patterns they offer for free.
So far, this is my favorite.
Check out those nasty toes. Who wears their toenails that long? Yuck.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
I'm leaving Beau...
For this sexy beast camped out in the courtyard taking pictures of the sky with his dogs.
For those of you who read this with any regularity, this gentleman is my Big Dumb Animal neighbor.
I don't think he owns any shirts with sleeves. I'd ask, but he's too good to speak to me.
It's going to be a beautiful relationship!
For those of you who read this with any regularity, this gentleman is my Big Dumb Animal neighbor.
I don't think he owns any shirts with sleeves. I'd ask, but he's too good to speak to me.
It's going to be a beautiful relationship!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
This has got to be some kind of record
I walked into Hobby Lobby for knitting materials (oh yes, I'm THAT dull) and was accosted by this.
I asked one of the employees how long the trees had been up. Since mid-July. REALLY? We need a reminder that Christmas Is Just Around The Corner SIX MONTHS IN ADVANCE???
I am suddenly very, very tired.
I am suddenly very, very tired.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
BURN!
On Sunday, Beau and I had big plans.
First, hit a classic car show in Olde Arvada (you know it's old when they spell it O-L-D-E) and then go see Cowboys and Aliens (which--sidenote--was the perfect mashup of two genres).
It was hot. After wandering around at the car show, Beau and I decided to stop for a beer before we walked down the block to the movie theater.
As we sat down, a fella sitting at the end of the bar (around my age, vague air of douchebaggery about him) told us that if we wanted to sit there, we had to "be nice."
Ok, whatever.
As we sat down, we started paging through our phones to see the pictures we got of some of the cars outside. While we're doing that, I hear the fella tell the bartender:
That's the perfect relationship down there. They just sit and look at their phones and they don't talk. It's genius! He never has to listen to her!
Now that's kind of a dick move.
So I turned to him and (thanks to the mighty heavens above who blessed me with this response) said:
Oh, we talk. And the conversation's usually about some guy sitting all alone at the end of the bar and the myriad reasons why he doesn't have a girlfriend.
Burn, mofo! Burn!
And THAT, I said to Beau as I took a sip of my beer, is why you don't mess with the smart girl at the bar.
First, hit a classic car show in Olde Arvada (you know it's old when they spell it O-L-D-E) and then go see Cowboys and Aliens (which--sidenote--was the perfect mashup of two genres).
It was hot. After wandering around at the car show, Beau and I decided to stop for a beer before we walked down the block to the movie theater.
As we sat down, a fella sitting at the end of the bar (around my age, vague air of douchebaggery about him) told us that if we wanted to sit there, we had to "be nice."
Ok, whatever.
As we sat down, we started paging through our phones to see the pictures we got of some of the cars outside. While we're doing that, I hear the fella tell the bartender:
That's the perfect relationship down there. They just sit and look at their phones and they don't talk. It's genius! He never has to listen to her!
Now that's kind of a dick move.
So I turned to him and (thanks to the mighty heavens above who blessed me with this response) said:
Oh, we talk. And the conversation's usually about some guy sitting all alone at the end of the bar and the myriad reasons why he doesn't have a girlfriend.
Burn, mofo! Burn!
And THAT, I said to Beau as I took a sip of my beer, is why you don't mess with the smart girl at the bar.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Reason #22 why having a beau is nice
It's nice to pull up at the gas pump and have someone jump out of the car and pump your gas for you.
It's not necessary (I can do it myself), but it's nice.
It's not necessary (I can do it myself), but it's nice.
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