I'm a sucker

Yesterday, I sat down at my desk to find an email from Beau that said:

Call me in 14 minutes! I'm boiling eggs! And painting!

And I actually did it.

And he knew I'd do it, too, which is why he answered the phone with:

Are my eggs ready?

Sigh.

I am the Sherlock Holmes of blog stats

Every so often, I pull up the old blog stats to see if the three of you are still reading (Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad! Hi, Beau!).

When someone finds this blog via a google search, it provides a link to the search.

So when I saw this, I had to click the link.

The blog post itself must have been very disappointing to the clicker, because it offered zero helpful information (when do I ever provide helpful information?).

This is the sad resolution to that link (note the bad grammar; I would think that if you had such an important medical question, you'd take extra care typing it into google--then again, I guess not).

HERPES WATS IT SMELL,LIKE???

Weird things amuse me.

Saddest thing I've seen at a health food store

Cat food marketed directly, it seems, to crazy cat ladies.

I love Halloween and I love being scared

But this little piece of holiday decor just screams WELCOME TO THE GATEWAY OF HELL!!!

Call me a wuss; I wouldn't want it in my house. (But it's available at Target --very close to the light-up Mr. Hankey--if you want it in yours.)

Merry Christmas!

It's that time again. Late September/early October, when the back wall of Target celebrates Hallowgivingmas.

Mom and I were looking at the Halloween decorations (because they're the most fun), when I spied this $49.99 item on the shelf. 

It looked familiar to me. 

Where. Have. I. Seen. It. Before?

I've got it!

Howdy-Ho! It's Mr. Hankey, the Christmas poo! Lit and fit for your front porch!

Weird milestone

It's the first time my dad has ever used omg in a text.

Or anywhere else, for that matter.

WTF is this???

Last weekend, Mom and I wandered around a local mall in search of diversion and good deals. 

What we found instead was creepy preteen hooker hideousness. 

The store is called Frenzy With An I (actually, it's just Frenzi, but I prefer it my way).

Why should girls dress like this when boys get to dress like regular human beings?

HELLO, KITTY!

HELLO... What's going on down there???
(notice the N-Z-I spelling on the window)

Oh for fuck's sake. Fuzzy leopard neon bell-bottom legwarmers.

Ok, the ensemble above is bad enough.

But THEN we saw this. 

We sat quietly and looked at it for a minute, utterly perplexed.

And then I said something to Mom that I never thought I'd say:

I don't get it. Is it for sex play? 

Because, honestly, it can't be considered REAL clothing.

Can it? 

I'd guess Halloween costume, but there were no other costumes in the window. 

It makes me sad. 

I fear for the future of our country.

 

This is funny

And it's not.

United States Sweaters... MADE IN CHINA!

That's your choice. Great. Now shut up about it.

Note: This is not a pro-life, pro-choice debate.

Instead, this is a tiny, insignificant rant. But a rant all the same.

Some people choose to have televisions in their homes. And they enjoy it. Some don't have televisions. And boy are they proud of that!

The ones who do have TVs get more than a little tired of the high-and-mighty attitudes of SOME (because not all non-TVers do this) of the folks who don't.

It's ok to watch TV. It's ok to admit that you ENJOY watching TV.

What I don't enjoy is hearing about how SOME people cannot believe that other people mindlessly tune out in front of TV when they could be doing better things like... reading, for instance.

Folks, I read all. damn. day. When I come home after work, I NEED some mindless entertainment.

I don't let a TV schedule take over my life.

I watch TV. How fucking shameful.

Despite the horrible, brain-liquifying side-effects that must accompany any television viewing, my IQ is still in pretty good shape.

Wanna compare numbers? :)

Perhaps I'm over sensitive...

But the start of this commercial always seems rather... serial-killer/date-rapey/I'm-going-to-wear-her-skin-like-a-coat to me.

What a tease.