I dunno, can I?

A message so nice, they sent it twice.

Will someone tell me what pleasance is? I feel like I'm missing out.

Oh, forty...

A coworker came by and told me that a team might need my hands in a photo shoot on Friday morning (it's not as glamorous as it sounds; it happens a lot around here).

But this time, it's different.

The coworker in question sweetened the deal with this:

"They were going to use Jane's hands, but her hands are too young."

That's right, folks. I am a possible old-lady hand model.

Yay, forty! You're treatin' this old broad welllllllll. :D

If a dream is a wish your heart makes...

A menu must be the cheesse steak sandwish your tummy makes.

Found this in an old Bennigan's near the airport that they renamed Vinny's--and left everything else exactly the same. The experience was... disconcerting.

These ain't your garden-variety gnomes

Last night, I went to a Halloween lover's house, and she had the cutest zombie gnome on her front porch.

I just put up Halloween lights over the weekend. A zombie gnome would be the PERFECT touch (and, let's face it, I'd leave it up all year).

So today I went on Amazon.com in an effort to find one of my own. I didn't find the one she had, but I'm awfully fond of this one. He might be The One. The zombie gnome I'll be with forever.

THE LITTLE ZOMBIE DOG IS JUST TOO CUTE.

But there were other options.

SHE WAS JUST A LITTLE TOO... EVERYTHING.

SAME GOES FOR THIS FELLA.

Of course, it turns out, there are other directions I could have taken this.

SELF-DECAPITATING GNOME.

ADORABLE BIRD-FLIPPIN' GNOME.

SQUATTING GNOME (SO MUCH CONCENTRATION!).

SQUATTING, BIRD-FLIPPIN' GNOME.

LITERATE, POOPING GNOME.

PANTSLESS, POLE-DANCING GNOME.

And... uh...

THERE ARE NO WORDS.

One simple trick

My friend Heidi warned me that, the minute I turned 40, the suggested posts on my facebook page would become extremely insulting.

She was so right.

But I did learn One Simple Trick to revive my skin.

Place the After picture IN FRONT OF the Before picture!

GENIUS!!!

Sounds delicious.

EDIBLE Cooked Carrots!

I knew you could cook them, but EDIBLE? I had no idea.

Sign me up!

Two thoughts

1. It's just a shame these two kids couldn't make it work.

2. More couples need romantic glamour shots next to toilets. 

Dear CNN,

I think it might be time to redefine BREAKING NEWS.

I trust her dinner-party advice blindly, but...

I'm a little iffy on Martha Stewart branded vitamins. 

Though I do love that she consented to put her name and face on something that helps you poop.

 

Who thought this was a good idea? 

If there's no dead bird in the house, why would you want the house to smell like dead bird?

(I know I'm on hiatus, but I figure I'll post something when the mood hits for now. Not every day. Things are a little stupid in my life these days. Most of the time, I'm not feelin' it. Today, I am.)

After dinner the other night, a friend and I encountered this window display.

Why would you want your house to smell like turkey and dressing if there were NO turkey and dressing to be had?

It's cruel.

It's weird.

It's... also in the store where I found the 2x4 sawdust-scented candle, so never mind. I forgot that logic does not apply in the Yankee Candle universe.