RIP, society

Surely tummy-control sweatpants and the return of the Cosby sweater are signs of the apocalypse.

Stomach tumor?

Nope, it's just a five-pound gummy bear (available for a mere $29.95 on amazon.com).

While I sat and stared and wondered why anybody would buy this, I glanced down at the People Who Bought This Item Also Bought section.

Apparently, large candy is quite popular.

If Coke and Pop Rocks can kill you, this plus a case of Coke amounts to a mass-suicide kit.

Reminder: You are what you eat.

Want canker sores for life? Here you go!

And, interestingly enough, THIS made it onto the list of also-boughts.

Oh yes, it's the toilet-bowl coffee cup. Nothin' but class.

Overheard

This scintillating conversation. 

Employee 1: Did you have a good weekend?

Employee 2: Yeah.

E1: What did you do?

E2: I went to a museum.

E1: Oh? Which museum?

E2: Uhhhhhhhh....

*END OF CONVERSATION*

This is my personal victory this winter

I survived Girl Scout Cookie season without buying one box or eating ONE COOKIE!

Someone please explain to me

Weird acrylic manicures with special ring-finger designs.

I feel totally out of the loop on this one.

I think I might have said this before

But if you find yourself and your significant other wearing pajamas in the liquor store, it's time to re-prioritize your life.

Kindle Daily Deals

Each day, I get a couple of emails regarding bargain e-books.

There have been some really good deals, but mostly, it's not stuff I'm too interested in.

This one gave me pause.

My guess is that the working title was WELL, DUH! 

Reading is great training for...

being in the moment.

I'm serious.

Ever try to read something when you're distracted by your own thoughts? You get 3/4 down the page, and you've retained nothing. You have absolutely no idea what's gone on.

You have to go back, focus, and let everything else go.

I think, with practice, it makes you a calmer person.

Just a thought.

Presidents Day Breakfast

Yesterday, I went to breakfast with my folks.

We went to Snooze, the best place in my neighborhood (in ANY neighborhood) for breakfast.

Of course, there was an hour wait (but the pineapple upside down pancakes are sooo worth it). While we sat and waited and waited, we people-watched.

I realize Denver is a dress-down town, but it never ceases to amaze me when people just roll out of bed and come to a restaurant in their pajamas.

Or, next best thing, yoga pants. I own them. I love them. They're the next best thing to sweats (or not wearing pants at all). But not all of us should wear them out of the house.

The fellas were just as guilty, though I noted that one put on his FANCY sweatpants for breakfast. Impressive.

But there was one woman who was close to my age in yoga pants and who clearly rolled out of bed without even running her fingers through her hair before getting in the car and coming out to slum it with the locals.

My mother's diagnosis: Clearly, she's on drugs.

So put on some pants and run a brush through your hair, Denver. Or you run the risk of having nice ladies like my mom (who made an effort) think bad things about you. :)

There's no way I'm accepting a hot pickle...

From a creepy rape van.

 

Happy Valentine's Day, folks. I hope all of your pickles are hot tonight.