On Friday, someone approached me, looked at my yellow sweater, and said You've just inspired me to wear an obnoxious color tomorrow.
Pay it forward, folks. Pay it forward.
Monday, March 31, 2014
Friday, March 28, 2014
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
A tip on trapping a man
Courtesy of an ex-coworker.
Years ago, I had run to Target with a friend over my lunch hour (we used her car). I didn't want to walk to my car with my purchases, so I brought them inside with me.
Toilet paper was one of those items.
It sat on the floor of my office while I worked.
The coworker approached, pointed at the toilet paper, and said You shouldn't have that in here.
Why not?
I don't want to know that you use that. I don't want to see it.
That particular brand?
No. Just.... THAT.
Toilet paper???
Yes. You want men thinking you use that?
I don't want anybody thinking that I DON'T use it.
That's something you need to rethink.
And he walked off.
So if you're lookin' to trap yourself a man, you must never ever give him any indication that you've ever used or will ever use toilet paper.
Because THAT'S sexy.
Years ago, I had run to Target with a friend over my lunch hour (we used her car). I didn't want to walk to my car with my purchases, so I brought them inside with me.
Toilet paper was one of those items.
It sat on the floor of my office while I worked.
The coworker approached, pointed at the toilet paper, and said You shouldn't have that in here.
Why not?
I don't want to know that you use that. I don't want to see it.
That particular brand?
No. Just.... THAT.
Toilet paper???
Yes. You want men thinking you use that?
I don't want anybody thinking that I DON'T use it.
That's something you need to rethink.
And he walked off.
So if you're lookin' to trap yourself a man, you must never ever give him any indication that you've ever used or will ever use toilet paper.
Because THAT'S sexy.
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Thaaaaaanks
A friend of mine and I were discussing a fellow coworker who is both lovely and nice.
I remarked on that.
He wholeheartedly agreed, turning to me; looking me in the eye; and, without a trace of humor, saying Attractive and nice. I NEVER see both of those qualities in a woman.
Sigh.
:)
I remarked on that.
He wholeheartedly agreed, turning to me; looking me in the eye; and, without a trace of humor, saying Attractive and nice. I NEVER see both of those qualities in a woman.
Sigh.
:)
Monday, March 24, 2014
The first-worldiest of first-world irritations
Ready? It's truly pathetic.
I have a TV downstairs in the living room and a TV upstairs in my bedroom.
On Sunday nights at 11:00, I like to watch back-to-back episodes of Bob's Burgers on the Cartoon Network (the problem is not only first-worldly, it's also incredibly dorky).
Since it's late on a Sunday night, I'd love to watch the second episode upstairs while I get ready for bed.
HOWEVER, for that ONE EPISODE for no discernible reason, Bob's Burgers only broadcasts in Spanish on the TV upstairs. Downstairs, it's fine.
But I always feel VERY put out with the situation.
And now you know how very small my world is on Sunday nights. :)
I have a TV downstairs in the living room and a TV upstairs in my bedroom.
On Sunday nights at 11:00, I like to watch back-to-back episodes of Bob's Burgers on the Cartoon Network (the problem is not only first-worldly, it's also incredibly dorky).
Since it's late on a Sunday night, I'd love to watch the second episode upstairs while I get ready for bed.
HOWEVER, for that ONE EPISODE for no discernible reason, Bob's Burgers only broadcasts in Spanish on the TV upstairs. Downstairs, it's fine.
But I always feel VERY put out with the situation.
And now you know how very small my world is on Sunday nights. :)
Friday, March 21, 2014
Thursday, March 20, 2014
More adventures at Target
Here's a huge non-secret: I color my hair. Because I like having dark hair. And white cannot, in any way, be considered dark.
My roots need a little touching up. So I bought the appropriate chemicals to do that.
At the checkout, the (white-haired, older than I am) lady behind the register looked at the box, looked at me, and said You do your hair?
Assuming she was asking if the product was for me, I nodded.
Then she went off I don't use this fake stuff. I let it all go. And when people ask me what I did, I tell them I STOPPED PUTTING THAT FAKE SHIT IN MY HAIR, THAT'S WHAT!
Um, ok. I'm not quite sure what that means for me, because I fully plan on putting that fake shit in my hair. For the next decade at least.
But it SEEMS like she meant it as a bit of a jab; I'm ok with that. I'm not going to derive my self worth from a complete stranger at Target (unless they stop me and tell me I'm beautiful, which would be awesome. Hasn't happened yet, but you never know).
But the funny thing was this. At the end of the transaction, she said I'm writing my name down on the bottom of your receipt. Take the survey at the bottom and let them know about the service you received today.
Whuck??
Not quite sure we're on the same page, Caroline V.
My roots need a little touching up. So I bought the appropriate chemicals to do that.
At the checkout, the (white-haired, older than I am) lady behind the register looked at the box, looked at me, and said You do your hair?
Assuming she was asking if the product was for me, I nodded.
Then she went off I don't use this fake stuff. I let it all go. And when people ask me what I did, I tell them I STOPPED PUTTING THAT FAKE SHIT IN MY HAIR, THAT'S WHAT!
Um, ok. I'm not quite sure what that means for me, because I fully plan on putting that fake shit in my hair. For the next decade at least.
But it SEEMS like she meant it as a bit of a jab; I'm ok with that. I'm not going to derive my self worth from a complete stranger at Target (unless they stop me and tell me I'm beautiful, which would be awesome. Hasn't happened yet, but you never know).
But the funny thing was this. At the end of the transaction, she said I'm writing my name down on the bottom of your receipt. Take the survey at the bottom and let them know about the service you received today.
Whuck??
Not quite sure we're on the same page, Caroline V.
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Furniture shopping
The best shopping is the window shopping you do to get ideas for tax-refund money that has not yet arrived.
I need new (and matching! How grown up!) beside tables to go under my new (and matching! How grown up!) lamps.
We braved IKEA on Saturday afternoon (I still think they should sell I SURVIVED IKEA ON SATURDAY AFTERNOON T-shirts). And I think I found the ones I want (and a million other things), but we decided to go to a regional mega-chain just to see what they have.
This is a place with HUGE furniture. And chairs that are motorized to help you stand up. And coffee tables that reach up so that you can eat your meals and do everything but poo while you plant your ass on the couch (and I'm pretty sure that's in the works).
I took pics of things that made me laugh.
Like this... "sculpture." It's fake plastic beer.
It ain't cheap.
And here's a super-fancy cosmopolitan big-city New York grouping...
For someone who's never been to New York.
Here's an insane snowball lamp. Adjust the balls for your lighting needs!
Peace for sale.
But I saved the best for last.
I call it HOLLY HOBBY THROWS UP.
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
What made me feel REALLY old on St. Pat's
My folks were all excited to go have a few beers at a fun bar and I was the one holding back and saying Whoa! That place will be a madhouse with no parking. Plus, I'm wearing cute suede boots. I don't want to get green vomit all over them.
We DID end up going out to a fun bar that we could all agree on, but I feel old nonetheless. :)
We DID end up going out to a fun bar that we could all agree on, but I feel old nonetheless. :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)