Why must they continue to call it Chick Lit?

Just because it's written for women, by women?

If that's the case, where's the Dick Lit section at Borders?

If you spend your life being a hate-filled little troll

You should stop doing that.

Menu of the Gods

Beau is having surgery (not minor, but not major either... minjor?) on Friday. I'm his designated driver/nursemaid/pharmacy runner.

I told him I was heading to the store tonight and I asked if he had any requests for food over the weekend.

I'll try to accurately transcribe his detailed list below:

• Chicken soup
• Cheese sticks

:)

Superserious vinyl collection, part deux

Came in to another surprise this morning. 

Because I work with grownups

As I type, the men in the office are in a frenzy.

Apparently, there's a turd on the floor of the men's room.

And they're all crowding in to get a look at it, daring someone to poke it and see if it's real.

Sigh.

15 things I learned at my first (and likely last) Rush concert

1. It's kind of a sausage fest. 
2. When the show is a sausage fest, there are NO LINES to get into the ladies' room (which blew, and continues to blow, my mind). 
3. From what I observed about the group of fellas next to me, doing boatloads of blow and smoking a ton of weed make you an excellent air drummer/air guitarist.
4. It is not necessary to shave, get haircuts, or even shower regularly to be a die-hard Rush fan. 
5. Bands made up of older dudes tend to start right on time (which is nice). 
6. Ten-minute drum solos still happen in real life.
7. There are bands out there who still perform for three and a half hours. 
8. The tailgating is fun, because the fans are really nice (they share their SunChips!).
9. Dudes in the parking lot sell glass pipes pre-packed and ready to go! :P
10. In the beer line, you shouldn't make a joke about the dude who looks like he hired his date until you know for sure whether or not that dude is a highly respected, retired Colorado Avalanche player (who knew he'd be so short!).
11. It's a pretty mellow crowd until everyone has to make their drunken way down the stairs (at Red Rocks) at the end of the evening. Then you hear things like I have a feeling I'm gonna hurt myself reeeeeeeal bad.
12. Rush fans are fanatics who know every word to every song and happily stand for the duration of the show. 
13. The band, whether it's your kind of music or not, is really tight and extremely talented. And they seem like super-nice fellas.
14. It is possible to get veeeeeery sleepy at a 2-billion-decibel show. 
15. Whether you like the band or not, if it makes someone you love happy to go, it's totally worth it.
    

In honor of Love Yourself Week

Here are 30 things I do well.

1. Make couscous (especially Moroccan Peanut and Tomato Dill versions)
2. Drive (everybody thinks they do this well, but not everybody does)
3. Speak my mind when the situation calls for it
4. Win over cats, dogs, and little kids
5. Sleep in
6. Screen calls (I'll admit it; I loathe the telephone)
7. Simultaneously watch TV and do a crossword puzzle (it used to be watch TV and do homework)
8. Obliterate passive voice in advertising copy (it runs RAMPANT)
9. Handwriting
10. Wear red
11. Care for my huge mane of curly hair
12. Relax (this is surprisingly difficult for a number of people)
13. Paint my own toenails
14. Read
15. Spell
16. Make lists
17. Feed the neighborhood squirrels
18. Live pretty well on the salary I make
19. Give hugs
20. Pay my bills on time
21. Finding the scritchy-scratch place behind the ears that make cats happy
22. Tune out extraneous noise in an effort to concentrate on the job at hand
23. Shop sales (which helps with no. 18)
24. Live alone/enjoy solitude
25. Eat well (meaning, I'm a good eater, not that I eat carrots and celery)
26. Make myself laugh (maybe others, but definitely myself)
27. Diffuse tense situations
28. Find good books on Amazon.com for cheap (I've got it down to a science)
29. Give gifts
30. Love the people (human and furry) who mean the most to me

Toe thumbs

Beau and I watched a weird story about a dude who was feeding sausages to an eel (side note: yuck. Eels look like turds with teeth), and--surprise!--the eel mistook his thumb for a sausage and bit it off. They had footage of the event. Can't really blame the eel; the dude was feeding it finger-shaped food.

So the dude (yes, I'm aware I keep calling him dude--you would too if you saw him) was without a thumb. And, of all the digits you could lose, that's the one you'd miss the most. So he got radical surgery. He had one of his toes removed and placed on his hand in lieu of a thumb.

He had a real-life toe thumb. I'd include a picture, but it's too disturbing (but there's a colorful array of images to be found on Google).

I don't know that I could hold hands with toe-thumb dude.

Could you?

Even though I've been out of school for years

It still puts a spring in my step when I buy school supplies.

Haiku of the Day

NyQuil, I love you.
One sip, and I'm off to sleep.
Waking up is hell.