Because I'm Nine

thingsthataredoingit.com

As I'm ideating a solve, I can't give you an actionable respond right now.

If you don't understand the sentence above, here's a translation: Because I'm thinking about a solution, I can't give you a response right now.

Ah, business speak. My poor little bleeding ears hear it every day. 

Why must we bastardize the English language? Each year, business schools crank out thousands of graduates with no discernible language skills and fancy new buzzword vocabularies, including the following gems:

• Benchmarking
• Aspirational
• Value Add
• 30,000-Foot View
• Share of Voice
• Dollarization
• Actionable
• Incentivize
• Mindshare
• Synergy
• Disintermediate
• Ideate

Big words that mean virtually nothing. 

I had a manager who LOVED the word "onus." The onus is on you to find a solve for this. or Let's put the onus where it belongs. It's a little too close to the word anus for my taste.

If you're at a loss for buzzwords, there's a handy Buzzword Generator.

It's got to stop.

I'm putting the onus squarely on your shoulders. :)

My First Fail (.com)

You never forget your first fail.

I'm soooooo happy...

...to find out that my ex has moved out of the state (waaaaay out of the state) this week. Is that wrong? We haven't dated in years and years, but every so often, I'd run into him (once, I ran into him while I was on a blind date, which was sheer agony--ex was wasted and kept sending us drinks and screeching my name across the bar).

He's a recovering addict, and he was always trying to get me to go for coffee so he could atone for his sins. I never wanted to, because I'd left that all behind. He kept writing me, asking for detailed lists of all of the horrible things he'd done to me during our relationship. Why???

Then I realized that, he just MIGHT be writing a book about his fun adventures on Planet Opiate. And it's not like he could remember all of the fun details, right?

Sorry. Not helping with the tell-all. 

Anyway, via con dios. Best of luck to you (and especially to your new wife).

(PS: I realize that this post might say more about me than it does about him; I'm ok with that.)

I don't think that's what they meant, Mariah...

When they said Golden Globes. :)

This morning...

On my way in to work, I noticed that the woman in the car next to me was gesticulating wildly. I immediately went on the defensive. After all, what did I do to her? NOTHING! Leave me alone, crazy lady!!

Then I looked a looked a little closer and realized that the crazy waving lady was my mom. :)

Epic Win FTW

epicwinftw.com

We could all use a little win in our lives.

I LOVE THIS!

YouDriveWhat.com

Youdrivewhat.com.

After getting a look at some of these, I don't feel so bad about the dirt on the outside
(or the clutter on the inside) of my car.

Working at Home

I have a freelance gig that I work on at night after I get home from my real job. The extra money is nice, but I don't get as much time to lounge around on the couch with my pets. And they're gettin' more than a little annoyed with the situation. Wanna know how I know?

This is how Miss Daisy helps me work at night.

Friends of Irony

friendsofirony.com

Ya gotta love irony!

If you buy a Rubbermaid container...

Don't put your baby in it.