Funniest thing I heard over the weekend

Courtesy of my friend Susan:

My acupuncturist told me we shouldn't let the cat sleep with us because cats are from another planet. 

So there's that.

Behold! The birth of a new catchphrase

Today, Mom made the following remark:

"I like those jeans. They don't show any donut roll."

"Any WHAT?" I asked. 

"You know," she replied, gesturing to my midsection. 

"Are you talking about muffintop?"

"Yes, yes, that's it!"

And, sadly, in my case, donut roll pretty much nails it. 

Who eats that many muffins?