Evil's got a new name

I've got a problem with an ex. Not any ex of mine; no, it's The Beau's ex-wife. Beau's been divorced for YEARS. And for years before that, she made him miserable. She's the one who continually threatened divorce. She's the one who filed papers. And when he signed those papers and moved out of the house, she was shocked. Hey! Where are you going? Why are you leaving me?

And when she found out he'd moved on and started dating, all hell broke loose. Suddenly, everything that had gone wrong in her life was on my shoulders. For years, she's sent me angry missives telling me I've ruined her life (I was not aware that I have life-ruining powers at my disposal. Had I realized this, Dick Cheney would have had a much rougher run in the White House). She manipulates. She cries. She threatens. She TYPES IN ALL CAPS!!!

She's even got a little nickname for me. I'm the Horse-Faced Bitch. You might think that's harsh, but I'm kind of proud of it. When the worst thing Satan's Black-Hearted Mini Me can say about me is that I'm a Horse-Faced Bitch, I feel pretty darn good about that (even though she loses creativity points).

So here's what I'm asking you to do. Send positive vibes to send Satan's Black-Hearted Mini Me out of the state and out of my hair. Let's wish her romance and high-seas adventure! Wealth and happiness in Idaho! Amnesia in paradise! A harem of strapping lads in Buffalo! The chance to experience zen with the Dali Lama! Peace with the Pope (I hear the Vatican is lovely)! I don't wish anything bad for her. I just want her to have a new life somewhere else.

So stop reading and get to sending those good vibes already!