It's not personal, it's business (it's business you won't be getting)

Earlier in the week, Beau needed to cash a check and because my bank is within walking distance and his bank is miles away, we went to my bank.

Whenever you want to cash a check at my bank, they're veeeeery suspicious (they remind me of the folks at the animal shelter who, when you express interest in rescuing an animal, treat you as though you were the person who dropped the animal off at the shelter in the first place, but I digress). They want two forms of ID and (I shit you not) fingerprints to cash a check.

We explained that it was just more convenient to walk to my bank than for him to drive to his. Then they asked about the status of our relationship, which I thought was odd. When we said we were dating, the teller proceeded to tell me I should put Beau on my account. This, I felt, was over the line, because they don't know me or him or the status of our relationship. It was rude.

I've had similar experiences with this bank in the past. I understand that tellers are forced to upsell every single service the bank offers, but enough. A teller asked me if I wanted to sign up for overdraft. I said no. She asked if I was sure. I keep a close eye on my money, I said. I was rewarded with a dirty look and the response, Well, there's always a first time.

Rudeness as a sales tactic. Hmmmm. Interesting idea. Lucrative? No. But interesting.

This is not the first time I've dealt with this phenomenon. Once in a department store, a woman accosted my mother with the following sales pitch: I have just the thing for those bags under your eyes. Oh ya do, do ya? NO SALE. (And eff you, lady.)

And, the pièce de résistance, last week after Beau's art show (which went very well; I'm so proud of him!), we were out celebrating and a woman approached me. She told me I was so lovely! So beautiful! She went on and on! I blushed and thanked her for making my evening. Then she hit me with The Pitch: But your hair is all wrong. Long hair is not the look for you. It's dragging your entire face down. And you need to get rid of those bangs. Luckily, I'm a hair stylist...

Sigh.

But back to the bank. I got on their Web site and wrote an e-mail regarding the pushy oversell. I got back a perky form letter that didn't have anything to do with my complaint.

I replied to that one, and this time I threatened to pull my checking/savings out of the bank (which, I'm sure, struck fear into the hearts of Those In Charge; how could their banking establishment survive without the $26.42 I have in my checking account?).

And whaddaya know? They've promised (IN WRITING) never to try to sell me anything ever again. Lesson learned: pushy rudeness does not make the sale. It can, however, stop the seller in his or her tracks!