This is what grownups do?

On Friday evening, I had dinner with my family.

The subject of one of their neighbors came up. Apparently, he's 52, just broken up with his girlfriend, and he's very lonely. He asked Dad about me and then told them to tell me that he's "available to take long walks."

What?

THAT'S how you approach a grown woman? Through her parents?

[Full disclosure, this man's political leanings are so utterly opposite of mine that it never would have worked anyway--so no comments about GIVE IT A SHOT! CAN'T HURT TO TRY!, please]

One of my friends asked how I felt about it.

I feel like a cocker spaniel. 

Hey, girl! Wanna go for a long walk?

Gee, I might get so excited that I pee on the floor the first time he walks through the door.

Anyway, I didn't give it much more thought than that.

Yesterday, I was out sick with a sinus infection. As I sat on the couch and watched endless commercials for personal-injury lawyers, bail bondsmen, and vaginal-mesh lawsuits, I saw GoesForLongWalks (a la DancesWithWolves), walk by my house and casually peek in my windows as he passed.

Sigh.

Please don't let me end up on one of those Stalked episodes on the ID channel.

This blog post will have to be entered into evidence.

Lord help me.