Behold the power of marketing

My folks put their car in the shop for a few days and rented a new car in the meantime.

Mom called me and told me she didn't think she'd like the car, but she does.

What kind is it? I asked.

It's one of those hamster cars! she exclaimed.

https://youtu.be/VutSJIKsixc

Cleverish word play

Introducing the Refreshit bidet.

Registered trademark of Squatty Potty, LLC. 

Nonsense things people say or do that inspire immediate distrust*

• Driving a bright yellow Hummer (actually, any color).
• "I don't like music." 
• "I hate chocolate." 
• Carrying a dog in a purse. 
• "I don't eat cake." 
• "I'm really interested in hearing Sarah Palin's platform."
• Backing into every parking place. EVERY parking place.
• Peeing Calvin stickers. 
• Confederate flags. On any part of your person or anything you own.
• Being gluten-free for no good reason. 
• "I don't eat cheese."
• Eating gristle/fat.
• Public shirtlessness. 
• No pets in the house (excluding, of course, an extended grieving period following the death of a beloved pet).
• Being a morning person. 
• Wearing so much hair product that I see the product before I see the hair. 
• Shorts in the snow.
• "Do you know how bad that is for you?" (regarding any food item)
• Pushing a healthy pet in a stroller in public. 
• Doing anything ironically. 
• Misusing quotation marks. 
• Concurrently wearing a parka and flip-flops.

*This is not a scientific--or even particularly serious--list. So if you're offended, lighten the fuck up. 

I have to make a confession

I don't care about your special diet.

I care about YOU, and I certainly don't want you to eat the thing that makes you sick/fat/hate life/whatever.

And if I were to cook for you, I'd certainly never serve you diet-offending items.

But I don't want to hear about it.

I don't want to hear about what happens if you eat the offending food.

I don't want to hear what your doctor thinks about it.

I don't want to hear the horror stories.

I don't want to hear your opinions on my own diet.

It's a diet. It's not a personality trait. Or, at least, it SHOULDN'T be a personality trait.

Someone explain to me...

The allure of The Butt Cake.

There are baby-butt cakes and bunny-butt cakes. And probably other butt cakes (but I was too scared to do a google image search).

Betty Crocker shows you how to make your very own holiday butt cake right here: bettycrocker.com/recipes/bunny-butt-cake

Baby-butt cakes are usually limited to baby showers.

Here's my question.

What is appetizing about eating a cake shaped like a butt? Eating a baby--ANY PART of a baby--is just creepy anyway. Right?

RIGHT???