And saw a cloud in the shape of Snoopy's buddy Woodstock.
After he'd been killed, plucked, and hung in a Chinatown window.
It was then that I really started to wonder about myself.
Did anybody ELSE see that this morning?
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Monday, February 4, 2013
Sit on this!
Beau went to a Super Bowl party at a friend's house last night (I stayed close to home to avoid the drunks on the road).
His buddy has very interesting decorating tastes.
This is the picture of a chair I got. There are two of them, apparently.
I need to rethink my home decor.
His buddy has very interesting decorating tastes.
This is the picture of a chair I got. There are two of them, apparently.
I need to rethink my home decor.
Friday, February 1, 2013
From the superhero files down under
My friend Jen lives and works in Melbourne, Australia.
The only thing that sucks about her is the fact that she moved so far away from me, but I'll stop whining.
She told me that she'd recently had to give a written reprimand to one of her direct reports regarding his abuse of his corporate credit card.
He, in turn, went to HR, claiming that she sent him to the hospital due to the unfair treatment.
Jen can send folks to the hospital WITH HER MIND!
Watch your asses, Aussies. She walks among you.
The only thing that sucks about her is the fact that she moved so far away from me, but I'll stop whining.
She told me that she'd recently had to give a written reprimand to one of her direct reports regarding his abuse of his corporate credit card.
He, in turn, went to HR, claiming that she sent him to the hospital due to the unfair treatment.
Jen can send folks to the hospital WITH HER MIND!
Watch your asses, Aussies. She walks among you.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Today's uncomfortable conclusion
Pepe Le Pew was a sex offender.
Think about it for a minute and you'll realize I'm right.
Think about it for a minute and you'll realize I'm right.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Women are gross, but...
Men are worse.
This week, a little sign appeared on the door leading out of the ladies room:
WASH YOUR HANDS!
Which leads to the inevitable thought that someone is NOT doing so and this passive-aggressive little reminder is designed to shame them (I'm not above shaming--my Facebook friends can testify to that).
These are the same folks who handle the doorknobs, pens, faucets, and coffee cups that I do.
[shudder]
But at least we're not men.
Because something WORSE is going on in the men's room.
I've heard (proud to announce that I'm not an eyewitness--there's a photo floating around somewhere, but I decided that was a mental image I could live quite comfortably without) that someone in the men's room on this floor picks his nose and leaves boogers on the wall.
What kind of depraved mind does that???
This is supposedly an office full of educated adults.
Somewhere in our midst is an overgrown third-grader.
Where'd I put that damn hand sanitizer???
I'm losing all hope for the human race.
This week, a little sign appeared on the door leading out of the ladies room:
WASH YOUR HANDS!
Which leads to the inevitable thought that someone is NOT doing so and this passive-aggressive little reminder is designed to shame them (I'm not above shaming--my Facebook friends can testify to that).
These are the same folks who handle the doorknobs, pens, faucets, and coffee cups that I do.
[shudder]
But at least we're not men.
Because something WORSE is going on in the men's room.
I've heard (proud to announce that I'm not an eyewitness--there's a photo floating around somewhere, but I decided that was a mental image I could live quite comfortably without) that someone in the men's room on this floor picks his nose and leaves boogers on the wall.
What kind of depraved mind does that???
This is supposedly an office full of educated adults.
Somewhere in our midst is an overgrown third-grader.
Where'd I put that damn hand sanitizer???
I'm losing all hope for the human race.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Another reason I left Oklahoma
Shit like this happens a lot more often than you'd think.
(A Facebook status update from a friend in Owasso, Oklahoma.)
(A Facebook status update from a friend in Owasso, Oklahoma.)
Monday, January 28, 2013
Friday, January 25, 2013
A typical Friday morning
While I sit at my desk, my phone rings.
I pick it up.
Beau: Whatcha doing?
Me: Oh, just sitting around, doing some editing.
B: Do you have a calculator on your desk?
M: Yup.
B: I need you to add these numbers for me.
[He lists them off, and I give him the total.]
M: Is that all you needed?
B: Yeah, I'll have to call you later. I'm working.
M: Ok, bye.
I put the phone down and my cube mate asked Didn't he just call you from his iPhone?
He did.
But he needed you to add those numbers?
It would have taken much more time and frustration to explain where the calculator is on his phone [he's a technotard] and that he could do it himself than it took me to add the numbers.
We smile, chuckle, and go back to work.
In love, we pick our battles. :)
I pick it up.
Beau: Whatcha doing?
Me: Oh, just sitting around, doing some editing.
B: Do you have a calculator on your desk?
M: Yup.
B: I need you to add these numbers for me.
[He lists them off, and I give him the total.]
M: Is that all you needed?
B: Yeah, I'll have to call you later. I'm working.
M: Ok, bye.
I put the phone down and my cube mate asked Didn't he just call you from his iPhone?
He did.
But he needed you to add those numbers?
It would have taken much more time and frustration to explain where the calculator is on his phone [he's a technotard] and that he could do it himself than it took me to add the numbers.
We smile, chuckle, and go back to work.
In love, we pick our battles. :)
Thursday, January 24, 2013
How, exactly....
Does one get "dragged into" a gay sex phone scandal???
I'm so curious, and yet not curious enough to buy the paper or scan the article.
I need someone to educate me on this one.
I'm so curious, and yet not curious enough to buy the paper or scan the article.
I need someone to educate me on this one.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Kitchen decor
Walking to the mailbox last night, I saw into one of my neighbor's kitchens (I'm not a peeping zickle, but if you leave your drapes open and the lights on when I walk by, I'm lookin').
She has a HUUUUUUUGE print of da Vinci's The Last Supper on the wall in her kitchen.
Full disclosure, my kitchen decor consists of weird photographs of little tiny deer hanging out in lollipop forests and climbing cupcake-frosting mountains, leaving me little room to judge here, but doesn't The Last Supper seem a bit... heavy for the kitchen? You walk in for a turkey sammich and there's Jesus and his Apostles, having one last meal before they nail him to the cross.
Might make me feel guilty enough to put the turkey sammich back.... and grab a glass of wine instead.
Heeeey. Maybe there's a method to her madness!
I don't know. Am I wrong about this whole thing?
She has a HUUUUUUUGE print of da Vinci's The Last Supper on the wall in her kitchen.
Full disclosure, my kitchen decor consists of weird photographs of little tiny deer hanging out in lollipop forests and climbing cupcake-frosting mountains, leaving me little room to judge here, but doesn't The Last Supper seem a bit... heavy for the kitchen? You walk in for a turkey sammich and there's Jesus and his Apostles, having one last meal before they nail him to the cross.
Might make me feel guilty enough to put the turkey sammich back.... and grab a glass of wine instead.
Heeeey. Maybe there's a method to her madness!
I don't know. Am I wrong about this whole thing?
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