Part of the Madding Crowd.

I’ve been to a number of concerts. And while I love seeing bands live, the memories that stick with me the most are the ones of the concertgoers around me. Of course I remember being filled with happiness and thoughts of John Cusack with a boom box when Peter Gabriel sang “In Your Eyes,” but I can also vividly picture the dude next to me who was so drunk he swayed at the most gravity-defying angles and never once fell over—a stunning achievement. Here’s a list of some more memorable concertgoers.

Huey Lewis and the News—(Go ahead and laugh; you know you perk up when you hear “I Want a New Drug.”) It was one of my first concerts. There was a couple next to my friend and I. The girl was much older and more sophisticated than we were (probably around 20), and she was disgusted that she and her date had to sit next to children. When she crawled over us to buy a T-shirt, she gave us the nastiest look she could muster. It gave us great pleasure to note that her fly was wide open.

Norah Jones—The guy behind me repeated the same mantra for the duration of the show: OhMyGodShe’sSoHotOhMyGodShe’sSoHotOhMyGodShe’sSoHotOhMyGodShe’sSoHot OhMyGodShe’sSoHotOhMyGodShe’sSoHotOhMyGodShe’sSoHotOhMyGodShe’sSoHotOhMyGodShe’sSoHot.

Hank Williams III—Half of the show was an old-time country tribute to his dad and his grandpa; the other half was ear-bloodying, hair-curling death metal. Three elderly women came to the show and really enjoyed the first half; they also sat through the entire second half (surrounded by head-banging, purple-haired, pierced metalheads), and smiled and clapped politely after each song.

Eric Clapton and Steve Winwood—A woman in the next row slept through the concert (in a $150 seat—that’s an expensive nap). She did wake up eventually, but it was only to go buy a cookie.

Death Cab for Cutie—It was at an outdoor venue. The kids in front of us (early 20s) were so excited to see the band that they jumped up and down… for the entire show. Ah, youth.

The Rockettes Christmas Spectacular—I had overindulged (over-overindulged, to be honest) the night before at the company holiday party, but I’d promised my family I’d be there to enjoy the show with them the next morning. I arrived on time (a little green) and settled in. Everything was fine, until the little kid in front of me (who must have overindulged in something as well) puked all over his row. That was the longest show of my life.

Super Diamond—Everybody seemed to be chemically enhanced at this Neil Diamond tribute (Mr. Diamond, by the way, was my very first concert). It’s hard to pick out one memory from this show, but it would have to be the woman who was so swept away by the music (and whatever she’d taken before the show) that she climbed into the lap of the wheelchair-bound man next to her and rode him and the chair around for the rest of the concert.

Aerosmith and ZZ Top—The fellow in front of us seemed very popular with the women around him, even though they didn’t seem to know each other very well. It became clear to us later that he’d hired his dates. Ohhhhhhh.

Robbie Fulks—My date kept screeching “Play Burn Together!” at the band. When they finally played it, he leaned over and whispered, “This is our song.” The song is about how we’d burn together in Hell. You’ll be shocked to know that the relationship did not last, and he’ll be experiencing eternal damnation with some other lucky lady.