2012

The planets are aligning. The asteroid has chosen its path. It’s on its way to get us on December 21, 2012 (my cousin’s birthday—that ought to be one hell of a party). Get your ducks in a row! Gather your loved ones! Build a bomb shelter! We. Are. All. DOOMED.

Or not.

Despite what the Mayans proclaimed (and, indeed, if they were soooo smart, where are they now?), I’m not too concerned about 2012. Even if it’s true, what are any of us gonna do about it?

To counteract all of the gloom and doom, I’ve decided to look on the bright side.

IF the world ends on 12/21/12:

Nobody has to file 2012 income taxes.
No New Year’s Resolutions (and the inevitable depression that follows the day you give in and eat a dozen donuts in one sitting).
Ladies, no 2013 swimsuit season.
No more biting into a burger and finding one of those little hard things.
I, personally, will never turn 40.
No more traffic jams.
No more campaign ads.
No more waiting in line.
No more Emergency Broadcast System Test interruptions (who’s gonna miss THAT ear-splitting noise?).
No reruns.
No alarm clocks.
No junk mail.
No papercuts.
No shirt!
No shoes!
No service!

Well, you get the idea.

Enjoy that screeching alarm clock on the morning of 12/22/12.