I am a true gourmet

That's why the frozen pizza at my house is legendary. (I can do wonders with cold cereal and a spoon too, but I digress.)

Last night there was nothing on TV (except for the premiere of Skating With the Stars, and, despite my enormous crush on Johnny Mosley, I opted out). But I found Beautiful Girls On-Demand, and I bounded into the kitchen for some culinary accompaniment.

Ah, Freschetta, come to mama and ease the pain.

I took off the plastic wrap, popped it into the oven, set the timer, and I was on my way to cheesy, pepperoni-ey goodness.

And then, three minutes before the timer was set to go off, I asked myself one heart-sinking question:

Did you remember to remove the cardboard from beneath the pizza before you put it into the oven?

DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT!