A week ago, my beloved grandpa died.
He was 92, he didn't suffer at all, and he lived a good life full of love and kindness.
But all the same, it was very sudden and my family is crushed.
The next days were full of the horrible things you have to do when all you want to do is... nothing.
I hate planning funerals. I hate the markup on every single "service" they offer at the mortuary. I hate the pressure. I hate it that they warn you that the cheaper caskets "don't seal as tightly" as the others. It's all shitty. Put me in a Hefty bag and leave me on the curb when it's my time.
Anyway, Mom, Grandma, and Dad had a meeting with the pastor of Grandma's church so that the pastor could further personalize the eulogy.
They told him about his heroic efforts in WWII and all kinds of great stories about what a wonderful man he was.
The pastor turned to Grandma and said, "Elsie, when you and Don were first dating, what kind of things did you enjoy doing together?"
Without batting an eye or blushing, this is what Grandma said:
We liked to park. But it was always difficult to park because there were police around all of the time just waiting to catch teenagers in cars. So we parked when and where we could. We parked in front of my house once, until Aunt Beth sent my sister out to tell me to come in the house before the whole neighborhood was scandalized.
And that's exactly what went into the eulogy. (Along with the war-hero/wonderful-man stuff.)
And it's the only thing that made us smile at all on the day we buried him.
We love and miss you, Grandpa. This old planet is awfully lonely without you.
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