You've seen the commercials. Poor Brooke Shields and Claire Danes. Two beautiful actresses who have seemingly perfect lives except for one. horrible. problem.
Their eyelashes were too short.
What a shame. They could have had it all.
But wait! Luckily, there's a new mysterious chemical you can spread on your eyelids that stimulates your cells (!) and makes your lashes grow and grow! Sure, there are side effects (eye redness, eye irritation, permanent darkening of iris pigmentation), but just look at that beautiful fringe!
As long as you're spreading chemicals on your eyelids, you might as well shoot botulism right into your forehead to get rid of those gawd-awful forehead wrinkles.
And if you're cursed with thin lips, you can have chemicals or the fat of your own ass injected into them to plump 'em up!
You can bet that women are lining up to ask their doctors about these procedures without batting an eye (yep, had to go there). And their doctors are whipping out the needles and prescription pads to dole out the appropriate treatments.
There's just one thing everyone has forgotten in this medical quest for beauty: short eyelashes, forehead wrinkles, and thin lips are not medical problems.
They are the genetic cards we're dealt. They are what set us apart from others. We're not all supposed to look alike. Who says that having short eyelashes is bad?
Where is it written that women must all have line-free skin, long lashes, plump lips, and thighs that don't touch? That men must have washboard abs, 1% body fat, a full head of hair, and erections not lasting more than four hours?
WHO SAYS?
Ugh. When is it ever going to be enough?
No comments:
Post a Comment