If you're going to be a pig anyway...

Abe Lincoln once said Whatever you are, be a good one.

So, if you're going to be a pig, do it well. 

I was driving on C470 over the weekend and spied this shoe-polished on the back of an old Jeep Cherokee:

I BRAKE FOR TITAYS.

I'm sure the young men inside had no idea that what they'd spelled was pronounced TITE-AYES, but for Pete's sake! It's T-I-T-T-I-E-S. I even would have accepted T-I-T-T-A-Y-S in a pinch.

Way to put the dumb in dumbass, dumbass.

(Fun irony: letting the world know that you brake for titties pretty much ensures that you'll never see any.)