A word I utterly loathe

"LOVER"

Yuck.

That word skeeves me out in a heartbeat.

There's simply no way to use that word (other than cat-lover, dog-lover, wine-lover, etc.) that does not bring about visions of shag carpeting, mood lighting, and baby oil (complete with porn-music accompaniment).

There are folks out there who actually introduce their significant others as my lover. Why would anybody EVER do that? You might as well say This is _______. I've seen every inch of his/her nekkid body and now I want you to picture it too.

Am I alone in this?

Why use the word my in an introduction anyway? I've never met anybody who did not have a name. Why use an introduction that connotes ownership?

Most people hate the word MOIST (not my favorite either, unless, of course, you're describing cake. I love pretty much any word that describes a good cake. I am, after all, a cake-lover).

Here's a satanic duo: use the words moist and lover in the same sentence.

Ugh. I feel like I need delousing.

I'd go for the trifecta, but I'll need to eat in the next 12 hours.