Lose weight, fight aging, or pack heat; it's your choice

I subscribe to a couple of groupon and groupon-like Web sites.

One in particular seems to be making some judgments about my life. LivingSocial sends me deals on teeth-whitening, gym memberships, botox, workout gear, etc.

Yes, I am a woman in her (sigh) late-ish 30s, but ENOUGH. I've taken care of my skin. My teeth are fine. I could stand to lose a couple of pounds, but fuck it. I like cheese.

After awhile, it gets to be a bit much. I have interests OTHER than tightening my ass or fighting a one-woman war against Father Time. 

Today, I got something altogether different.

Yep, LivingSocial has determined that since I'm too lazy to get off of my couch and improve myself in any way, I might as well protect myself against the trolls I most likely encounter in my ugly, toothless, underworld existence.

Might be time to unsubscribe.

Sheesh, doesn't anybody offer restaurant or bookstore deals anymore?