16 things I learned over Christmas vacation

1. The Whole Foods by my house has a baby grand piano and a resident pianist, which made shopping for Christmas snacks (my food assignment from Mom) on the 23rd rather surreal.
2. Jason Bourne (the character) shares my birthday.
3. Jason Bourne is really good at driving fast in reverse.
4. Though it seems like a phenomenally bad idea, the Dinochicken is in the works (and, let's face it, probably already in existence in some mad scientist's lab).
5. If your thermostat is going to go out, it's likely to go out on Christmas Eve as you're walking out the door. (Oh, and in case you're wondering, the perfect time for a hot water heater to go out is 11 pm on Valentine's Day.)
6. People use skiing/boarding as an excuse to wear ridiculous gear around Breckenridge even when they're nowhere near the slopes.
7. The place I where I buy Beau buffalo jerky in Breckenridge is actually called Climax Jerky, which just doesn't sound good (and, frankly, is disturbing to see on my bank statement). 
8. Thanks to my constant pedometer use, I've realized that, when I'm not running around at work, my life is heart-stoppingly sedentary.
9. According to my grandma, GRANDMAS DON'T WEAR SLIPPERS OR FUZZY SOCKS, SO LET'S JUST FORGET IT!! (Unfortunately, she said this right after she opened the slippers mom gave her and the fuzzy socks I gave her. But what else do you give an 85-year-old who doesn't really do anything? For the record, I got fuzzy socks for Christmas and I love them.)
10. The sheer volume of pajamas-in-public folks is testing my huge desire to pants someone, which would surely land me in jail... but is there a jury out there that would convict me? 
11. Christmas is fine, but Mom and I have the most fun buying half-price calendars the day after Christmas.
12. Success is near, according to my fortune-cookie fortune on New Year's Eve (I take this very seriously).
13. Even though I'm 37 years old, I still get excited to open a gift and find SNOOPY items inside!! (PJs, lunchbox, and calendar! Thanks, Mom!).
14. My mom and I are the only two who truly like the green marshmallow/corn flake "cookies" we foist on the rest of the family at Christmas (to quote Beau: That's a cookie?).
15. That Dinochicken thing really freaks me out.
16. There is a market for this product: