Friday, November 4, 2011

Worst cover story ever

Years ago, my friend Jess sent me a voicemail she'd received from a coworker that day.

The first half was business as usual, then Jess's coworker hung up.

At least she thought she'd hung up.

While voicemail was still recording, she started griping about Jess to someone in her office, ending the tirade by calling Jess bitchwhore.

And THEN she realized she hadn't hung up.

Oops. Charming.

All was silent for about a half hour (presumably the time it took to cook up this brilliant cover story).

Jess sent me voicemail number two:

Hi, Jess, it's [insert bashful coworker name here]. Um, you may have heard something at the end of that last voicemail I left for you that you might take the wrong way. But you really shouldn't. Here in the office, my friends and I call each other bitchwhore all the time. It's a total term of endearment. I certainly didn't mean it in a mean way or anything. Ok, have a nice day. Bye!

Really? A term of endearment?

If that's the case, then I hope y'all have a great day, bitchwhores!!!

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