Wedding crap

I've mentioned before that I like to buy bridal magazines because I love pretty dresses and cake.

I subscribed to my favorite one because those things are expensive and because it's nicer to have them delivered right to my home (just like I do with all of my porn subscriptions).

One drawback to this subscription is that I've made my way onto a few mailing lists for other bridey stuff. Stuff I don't want, need, or care about.

Like the wedding crap catalog I got in the mail last week. It's filled with the tackiest wedding items I've ever seen (mostly, I guess, because I'm only invited to nice weddings).

If only I'd taken a few photos to post...

Oh wait! I did!

Nothin' says I'm in it for the long haul like a Wedding Ring Shot Glass.
Only $5 per dozen!

Honestly, if you could convince your fiance to wear this (it's TOP RATED),
how could you respect him enough to marry him?

Same goes for these douchey wedding-party socks. If they don't know
who they are, how are these socks going to help?

A classy way for your guests to keep their canned beverages cold
at your wedding.

An even classier (and inflatable!) way to make those beverages cold.
(I spy screw-top wine!)

Screw-top wine, beer koozies, and inflatable beer tubs
are the perfect recipe for a weddin' rave!

If a rave ain't your thing, take the sophisticated route with these lovely
rose candles. Fire hazzard, schmire hazzard.

And don't forget to give your guests the gift that keeps on giving when they
leave: LOTTO TICKETS!

NOW THAT'S CLASS!!!