Nine things I noticed/learned over the weekend

1. Playboy has three new scents for women. If you want to smell like implants, spray-tan, or Photoshop, YOU'RE IN LUCK!
2. If you buy an iPod shuffle at the Apple store, ask for the orange one. Asking for tangerine will get you a confused look and a head scratch. 
3. Teenaged girls are stupid enough to wear daisy dukes and spaghetti straps to the mall in near-blizzard conditions. Was the attention worth the frostbite, girls?
4. At Cherry Creek Mall, the Shorts in the Snow phenomenon runs rampant.
5. A hipster douchebag in Urban Outfitters wore an eye patch; it went so well with his ensemble that I honestly think it was an ironic (eyeronic?) eye patch. 
6. I saw it with my own eyes: a teenager wore shorts so baggy that he pantsed himself in the mall with the mere act of walking. It. Was. Awesome. (How hard is it to wear pants that fit? And, yes, I know I sound old when I complain about this.)
7. American tradition or not, when it comes to the Super Bowl, I'm pretty much just in it for the food.
8. Though she likely thought so, the fact that Fergie's boobs had light bulbs and sparkles all over them did not make up for the heinous Super Bowl halftime show.
9. Some folks party like kings in the parking garage. Check it out:

Peppermint Schnapps (90 Proof) and Keystone Light, baby!!!