Drugstore "beauty"

I stopped at my local drugstore to pick up the important prescriptions that keep me sane and unimpregnated. On my way back to the pharmacy, I took a detour (as I always do) through the cosmetics department to feed my lipgloss habit.

It's there that I spied the following attrocities.

First, this horrible lipgloss.

This isn't the color of the packaging, it's the color of the actual lipgloss inside.

First your lips have to be green. Then yellow (yay. lip jaundice). Then less-sad-but-still-sad shades of orange. Who wants green lips? You'll be shocked to note that not one of these had been purchased (not even by tweens, who--let's face it--will buy almost anything).

Then I came to the Rimmel line of cosmetics. I perused their offerings until I saw the horribly photoshopped pictures of Zooey Deschanel.

Zooey Deschanel is adorable, talented, and quirky.

Now look at what Rimmel did to her.

If that's the before and after of Rimmel, I'll stay with before, thanks.